If you're only at the watch party for the snacks and the vibes, lean into it. Here are some self-aware, funny things you can say when you don't know the offside rule.
"I think the real issue here is that they aren't putting the round thing in the rectangular net thing enough times."
"We should call an ambulance. It looks like a sniper hit him from the upper deck."
"I love soccer. You can watch for two straight hours and literally nothing changes on the scoreboard."
"I have no idea what the rule is, but I absolutely agree the referee is a complete disgrace."
"Whatever happens on the field, I just want to say the real MVP today is whoever brought these nachos."
Yes, even die-hard soccer fans hate diving and flopping. It’s a very safe target for a joke.
Keep the jokes self-deprecating about your own lack of knowledge. Don’t repeatedly mock the sport itself as "boring," as that gets old quickly for people who actually enjoy it.