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What to Say During a Soccer Game When You Don’t Know the Rules

You're on the couch. The TV is loud. Everyone else is stressed. You have no idea what "VAR" means. Here is exactly what you can say during the match to join in without sounding like you're pretending to know soccer.

⚡️ The Quick Answers

1. Asking Questions (Without Sounding Dumb)

People love explaining things. Giving them an opening to teach you makes you a great viewing companion.

The honest confession
Use when: When someone makes a tactical comment you don't get.

"Okay, explain this to me like I’m completely new to soccer—why is that a big deal?"

Asking about the stakes
Use when: When everyone seems very stressed about a specific game.

"So what happens if they tie this game? Do they still go through?"

Understanding a player's role
Use when: When they keep mentioning one specific player.

"Is he normally their best player, or is he just having a really good game today?"

2. When Something Exciting Happens

You don't need to know the tactical build-up to appreciate a good moment.

When the goalie saves it
Use when: When the goalkeeper makes a crazy jump.

"That was an insane save. Did he have any right to actually stop that?"

When a goal is disallowed
Use when: When everyone celebrates, but then groans because of offside or VAR.

"Wait, what happened? Why did they call it back?"

Reflecting the room's energy
Use when: When the team is pressing hard and almost scoring.

"I don't even know the rules and my heart rate is up right now."

3. When the Game is Slow (0-0)

Soccer can have long stretches without goals. Here's how to comment on it positively.

The 'tension' comment
Use when: When it's been 0-0 for 70 minutes.

"This feels like whoever makes the first mistake is going to lose."

Asking about strategy
Use when: When one team is just passing the ball around the back.

"Are they just trying to kill time right now, or are they actually trying to build something?"

4. Reacting to Fouls & Referees

Complaining about the referee is a universal soccer language.

Validating the anger
Use when: When your friend is yelling at the TV because of a foul.

"Was that actually a foul, or did he just dive?"

The VAR delay
Use when: When the game stops so the referee can look at the screen.

"This VAR stuff takes forever. Does it actually ruin the flow of the game for you?"

The yellow card
Use when: When a player gets booked.

"Is he going to have to play super carefully now that he has a yellow?"

What NOT to Say

  • "They're just running back and forth." (Yes, that is the sport. Pointing it out is annoying.)
  • "Why didn't he just shoot?" (Usually, there are 4 defenders in the way that you aren't noticing.)
  • "In American football, that wouldn't even be a foul." (They are different sports with different rules. Don't compare them.)

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the offside rule in simple terms?

Instead of trying to explain it perfectly, just know this: An attacking player can't 'cherry-pick' by hanging out behind the last defender before the ball is passed to them. If you see a goal called back and a flag goes up, it's usually offside.

When should I cheer?

When your friends cheer. Seriously! Also, cheer when the team you're supporting gets close to the goal, wins a corner kick, or when the goalie makes a save.

What if the game ends in a tie (0-0)?

In the group stages, a tie (draw) is a final result and both teams get 1 point. In the knockout stages, they play extra time, and then go to a penalty shootout. If it's 0-0, talk about how 'tense' or 'tactical' the game is.